2009 is but a History.

I am not going to make a list of what I want to accomplish for the next 12 months, because I utterly dissent New year's resolutions, instead, I want to recapitulate what I have attained for the past 12 months of my life...The reason I tagged you is not for you to read this note, but just to wish you a Happy New Year! (but you can read it if you want!) :-)


REGRETS:

Each day of my life, as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, I believe that I can square away for a happy and successful day.(well-- I always tried.) It's the mood and the purpose at the inception of each day that are the important facts in charting my course for the day. I can always decent for a fresh start, no matter what the past has been. It's today that is the paramount problem --always.Yesterday is... but history.

We have to face regrets. Becoming mature means learning to accept what I cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as I would have it happen...

I truly believe that there's no better way to waste time in life than to dwell on the past. We should learn from the past with as much objectivity as possible, so that we can modify our future actions -- and then move on.

MISTAKES

I've never been afraid to admit when I've made a mistake. It nearly drives me nuts sometimes, making mistakes. I keep telling myself I should be perfect, but that isn't what we're here for. Perfection isn't an option for us; Nobody's perfect! We're here to learn and change, and that means making mistakes.

Many of us grow up thinking of mistakes as bad, viewing errors as evidence of fundamental incapacity. This negative thinking pattern can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, which undermines the learning process. To maximize our learning it is essential to ask: "How can we get the most from every mistake we make?" Remember--To continue learning is to embrace the process of trial and error at higher and higher levels...One mistake will never kill you, but the same mistake over "and over again"--will hurt you BIG TIME! :-(

THANKFUL

How easily we can forget how precious life is! So long as we can remember, we've just been here, being alive. Unlike other things for which we have a good comparison--black to white, day to night, good to bad, right to wrong--we are so immersed in life that we can see it only in the context of itself. We don't see life as , compared to anything, to not-being, for example, to never having been born.
But life itself is a gift. It's a compliment just being born: to feel, breathe, to express, think, play, dance, sing, work, make love, for this particular lifetime.
Today, let's give thanks for life. For life itself. For simply being born!

We must be thankful for what we have-- As what Confucius says-

"I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet"

Sometimes we seem to forget to acknowledge the beauty of our surroundings, when we are forgetting those who cannot see at all...Gratitude is the memory of the heart; therefore forget not to say often, I have all I ever enjoyed...Remember- You get appreciation by giving it...

LIFE

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, neverending housework, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. But one thing I have learned is that...

"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger...No life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it"

2010 This is the precious present, regardless of what yesterday was like, regardless of what tomorrow may bring. When our inner eyes open, we can actually find immense beauty hidden within the inconsequential details of daily life. When our inner ears open, we can hear the subtle, lovely music of the universe everywhere we go. When our heart opens, we can take deep pleasure in the company of the people around us--family, friends, acquaintances, or even strangers--including those whose characters are less than perfect, just as our character is less than perfect. When we are open to the beauty, enigma and grandeur of prevailing existence, you "get it" that it always has been beautiful, mysterious, and grand and always will be...

A NEW LIFE...

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things even better.

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not...Remember if you can't change the world, change your life, if you can't change your life...change your attitude...

Forget the New year's resolutions. Forget control and discipline...too much work. Instead try experimenting. Go in search of something to fall in love with...something about yourself perhaps, your career, or just life itself!!!

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.




WISHING YOU ALL A FLOURISHING NEW YEAR!!!

Dried Fish...

Matapos kong maglinis, maglaba at nanood ng MTV at pinagpawisan ako sa kaka gaya kay Rhiana at sinabayan sa mga kantang pinasikat nya gaya ng “please don’t stop the music” at “umbrella”. Nakaramdam ako ng gutom. Kape at toast lang ang aking inalmusal bandang alas dies ng umaga pa yun. 1:20pm na pala, tumingin ako sa labas, maririnig mo ang malakas na hampas ng mga halaman, na para bang nakikisayaw sila sa tugtugin ng musikang aking pinakikingan. Malakas din ang ulan, na tilabagang napadpad si Ondoy dito sa UK.
Nagpunta ako sa kusina, at pinagsaing ko ang bunso kong anak. Wala akong mahalungkat na madaling kainin. Kailangan kong mag defrost ng karne, kung gusto kong magluto ng ulam? Anong uulamin namin?

Dito sa UK, kadalasan ang mag tao, isang beses isang araw lang sila kumakain, sandwich lang halos o minsan chichirya ang kanilang pampalipas gutom sa tanghali. Minsan prutas o kaya naman sabaw na nasa sachet.

Bilang isang tunay na pilipino, malakas paring sumisigaw sa aking puso, ang pagiging natural na pinoy. At sobrang hilig sa kanin. Dahil narin sa sakit namin sa pamilya (diabetis) medyo nagbawas na rin ako sa kanin, kaya ang sampong kilong bigas ay inaabot narin ng mahigit kumulang tatlong buwan, sa aming mag-anak.

Sa tindi ng pagod ko kanina, nakita ko sa ref ang nakabalot na tuyo na dala pa ng kaibigan kong galing Texas. “Hmmmn, pwede nato, sawsaw sa suka at bagoong.” masarap kainin pag ganitong malakas ang ulan. Maalala ko noong kabataan ko pa, madalas naming kainin ang tuyo katerno ng munggo (or balatung sa kapampangan) lalo na pag araw ng Biernes, siguro dala ng pagiging katoliko ni Inay, kaya kada Biernes, hindi kami nagkakarne, tradisyon na dinala naming magkakapatid, pero isang dahilan narin ng pagtitipid. Kaya kadalasan tuyo ulam namin.
Siempre pag bata ka, medyo hindi ganun kalawak ang pang intindi mo sa mga kapaligiran, hindi mo naiintindihan kumbakit, lagi kayong kumakain ng tuyo. Tuyo na matindi ang amoy, at kapag itoy inulam mo, tiyak, maghapon ang hininga mo at kamay ay nangangamoy tuyo. Bagay na kinaiinisan mo, para sa yo, sa murang isip, ang tuyo ay pagkain ng mahihirap, minsan sinisisi mo ang tuyo, kumbakit nag da dry ang balat mo. “dahil siguro madalas kaming kumain ng tuyo”
Kapag tinatanong ka ng mga kaibigan mo kung anong ulam niyo, nahihiya kang mag sabi na tuyo ang ulam niyo, kaya kadalasan gumagawa ka ng sarili mong ilusyon at sinasabi mo na ang ulam niyo ay HAM or “Pride chiken.”
Matapos kong lutuan ng pritong itlog ang mga anak ko, binigyan ko sila ng konting kanin sa kani kanilang plato, at pinakain sa salas, sabay utos na isara ang lahat ng mga pintuan sa silid, binuksan ko ang mga bintana sa kusina, pati narin ang pintuan sa may bandang utility room. Then nilabas ko ang frying pan, at nagprito ako ng tuyo, sinindi ko ang exhaust fan,sabay nagdasal na sana, wag maamoy ng mga kapitbahay ko.
Pagkaluto, gumawa ako ng sawsawan na suka at bagoong, sumandok ng kanin at nakadalawang plato ako, sarap na sarap ako sa tuyo, habang tinitiris ko ang ulo, sabay sawsaw sa suka, siempre pa nagkamay ako, at ang isang paa ko, nakataas pa sa may upuan, alangan namang gagamit kapa ng fork and knife, baka sisigaw ang tuyo ng “Hoy kamayan mo nga ako no?” so ayun, kada subo ko sa kanin, at tuyo, parang naalala ko bigla ang kabataan ko, na kada kumakain ako ng tuyo noon, iniisip ko na ham ang sinusubo ko instead na tuyo, pero ngayon, enjoy na enjoy ako sa tuyo.
Hinugasan ko kagad ang frying pan, at hinugasan din ang mga plato, naghugas ako ng kamay ng ilang beses. Heto hangga ngayon nangangamoy suka at tuyo parin ang aking kanang kamay. Pero isa lang ang masasabi ko…Huwag ikahiya ang tuyo, dahil darating ang araw, tuyo lang pala ang magpapaligaya sa yo.

Collection of very Short Poems.

Lies

"Once Truth revealed"
The trust is broken
My faith destroyed
and confidence shattered

realization confirmed

that life sucks
but healing begun
and heart renewed
one day for sure

I'll be loving again
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Used

Hoping
you won't
take advantage
so I gave you
another chance
after granting you
one chance
and another, before that
but you took advantage

now my heart is tired

my mind is confused
and my tears
stain the ground
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Swindled

longing for
one feeling
veiled under your
evil lies
left with
only sorrow
seeking answers
torn from me
...but I'll find it again
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